little johnny jokes

Here are Little Johnny jokes to get you started

Teacher: “Johnny, why are you late?”
Little Johnny: “Because of the sign down the road.”
Teacher: “What sign?”
Little Johnny: “The one that says, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!'”

Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”
Little Johnny: “One dollar.”
Teacher: “You don’t know your math.”
Little Johnny: “You don’t know my father!”

Teacher: “Johnny, why did you eat your homework?”
Little Johnny: “Because you said it was a piece of cake!”

Teacher: “Johnny, can you tell me what an amphibian is?”
Little Johnny: “A frog in a suit.”

Mom: “Johnny, if you keep being naughty, you’ll get a time-out.”
Little Johnny: “Great! I need a break anyway!”

Teacher: “Why are you always so happy, Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “Because happiness is the key to good grades.”

Teacher: “Johnny, where is your homework?”
Little Johnny: “I put it in my math book, but now I can’t find the page!”

Teacher: “Johnny, name two days of the week that start with ‘T’.”
Little Johnny: “Today and Tomorrow!”

Teacher: “Johnny, why didn’t you finish your history homework?”
Little Johnny: “I was too busy making history!”

Teacher: “Johnny, why do you always write with your left hand?”
Little Johnny: “Because if I wrote with my right hand, it wouldn’t be right!”

Dad: “Johnny, if I gave you $5, and you spent $3, what would you have?”
Little Johnny: “I’d have a good time!”

Teacher: “If you had 5 apples and you gave away 3, how many would you have left?”
Little Johnny: “5. I’m not sharing my apples with anyone!”

Mom: “Johnny, why are you standing on the chair?”
Little Johnny: “Because I was tired of sitting!”

Teacher: “Johnny, can you give me a sentence with the word ‘laugh’ in it?”
Little Johnny: “Sure! My dad always says he who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”

Teacher: “What do you want to be when you grow up, Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “I want to be a teacher.”
Teacher: “Why?”
Little Johnny: “So I can give homework instead of doing it!”

Mom: “Johnny, eat your vegetables!”
Little Johnny: “But if I eat them, there won’t be any left for tomorrow!”

Teacher: “Johnny, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy?”
Little Johnny: “No, teacher, it’s the same dog!”

Teacher: “Johnny, why are you staring at your book so intently?”
Little Johnny: “I’m trying to find the plot twist!”

Teacher: “Johnny, how do you spell ‘crocodile’?”
Little Johnny: “K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.”
Teacher: “No, that’s wrong.”
Little Johnny: “Maybe it is, but you asked how I spell it.”

Mom: “Johnny, do you think I’m a bad mom?”
Little Johnny: “My name is Johnny, not ‘Think’.”

Teacher: “Johnny, if you had a choice between being rich or smart, which would you choose?”
Little Johnny: “Rich, because I can always hire smart people!”

Teacher: “Johnny, why is your essay on ‘My Dog’ so short?”
Little Johnny: “Because my dog ate the rest!”

Dad: “Johnny, why did you get a detention?”
Little Johnny: “The teacher said I needed a break!”

Teacher: “What is the chemical formula for water?”
Little Johnny: “H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.”
Teacher: “That’s not right!”
Little Johnny: “Yes, it is! You said water is H to O!”

Teacher: “Johnny, why are you daydreaming during math class?”
Little Johnny: “Because I’m trying to solve life’s big questions, like why math is so hard!”

Teacher: “Johnny, how can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?”
Little Johnny: “Don’t bite any!”

Teacher: “Johnny, if your father has 10 apples and he eats two, how many does he have left?”
Little Johnny: “Ten apples. He wouldn’t share!”

Mom: “Johnny, how do you like your new school?”
Little Johnny: “Closed!”

Teacher: “Johnny, why did you bring a ladder to school?”
Little Johnny: “Because I wanted to go to high school!”

Teacher: “Johnny, what is the shortest month?”
Little Johnny: “May. It only has three letters!”

Teacher: “Johnny, why is your homework always late?”
Little Johnny: “Because I forget to do it early!”

Teacher: “Johnny, give me a sentence using the word ‘damage’.”
Little Johnny: “I once had a box of chocolates and my dad asked me if he could have one, so I said, ‘Damage already done!'”

Teacher: “Johnny, what would you like to be when you grow up?”
Little Johnny: “An adult!”

Teacher: “Johnny, how do you spell ‘banana’?”
Little Johnny: “B-A-N-A… umm… can I just keep going until it feels right?”

Mom: “Johnny, why didn’t you brush your teeth?”
Little Johnny: “Because they didn’t ask me to!”

Teacher: “Johnny, how can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?”
Little Johnny: “Don’t bite any!”

Teacher: “Johnny, if your father has 10 apples and he eats two, how many does he have left?”
Little Johnny: “Ten apples. He wouldn’t share!”

Mom: “Johnny, how do you like your new school?”
Little Johnny: “Closed!”

Teacher: “Johnny, why did you bring a ladder to school?”
Little Johnny: “Because I wanted to go to high school!”

Teacher: “Johnny, what is the shortest month?”
Little Johnny: “May. It only has three letters!”

Teacher: “Johnny, why is your homework always late?”
Little Johnny: “Because I forget to do it early!”

Teacher: “Johnny, give me a sentence using the word ‘damage’.”
Little Johnny: “I once had a box of chocolates and my dad asked me if he could have one, so I said, ‘Damage already done!'”

Teacher: “Johnny, what would you like to be when you grow up?”
Little Johnny: “An adult!”

Teacher: “Johnny, how do you spell ‘banana’?”
Little Johnny: “B-A-N-A… umm… can I just keep going until it feels right?”

Mom: “Johnny, why didn’t you brush your teeth?”
Little Johnny: “Because they didn’t ask me to!”